If you find yourself stuck in a job that you don’t enjoy or in a company that isn’t fun to work for, the first step to making a change is asking yourself, “How did I get here?” Your being here at this time in your life is not a random event. You have made choices and decisions along the way to get here. Your individual journey has led you to this exact point. And you are not broken. You don’t need to be fixed. No one is to blame. You have made choices based upon beliefs that you have held. And beliefs are nothing more than thought habits. They are ideas that you have thought over and over again until they became a belief. Like an old record, you may be stuck in a groove or a belief that no longer works for you.
So, before you decide to leave your job or company or make any change, it is a valuable exercise to pause for a moment and examine your beliefs. If you don’t take the time to do this, you will make choices based upon old beliefs and end up in the same place.
In working with my coaching clients, I find that there are five key beliefs that lead people into a job that does not bring them joy. I will outline them here.
Belief #1: Money: Getting a corporate job is the best way to make money. We are all conditioned to believe that having a job is the best way to make money by our parents, teachers, and many well-meaning adults. There is a systemic belief in our society that a job is the best path to wealth. It is simply not true. You will never make significant wealth (of the retire early, be completely financially free, lack of money doesn’t guide my decisions type of wealth) by going to a 9 to 5 job.
I often read stories in mainstream magazines of people who retire early by having two income earners in the family, living extremely frugally, and saving almost all of their earnings for retirement. Not a really fun way to live in my estimation!
I would rather earn lots of money doing what I love on my own time schedule and not waiting until I retire to have fun. Can I do this in a regular job? I couldn’t. I was making a six-figure income working insane hours and traveling constantly. I made less money early in my career doing the 8:30 to 5:30 grind but I wasn’t having any fun and I spent every dollar that I earned.
Why can’t you good make money in a job? First, only the top echelon of workers make over $100,000. The system is set up this way – as a pyramid. The corporate pyramid has lots of low-paid worker bees and only a few high-paid executives. Second, you are taxed heavily on earned income. The tax system is designed to benefit corporations. Third, you don’t get any residual income – once you stop working, the dollars stop coming. You aren’t building up any passive income streams. You may design a product or software for your company – but the company gets the passive or residual income from your efforts.
Equity = wealth. All equity goes to the shareholders. It is great to work in a company that offers its employees an ownership stake – in fact I wouldn’t consider working for one that doesn’t. The only downside is that you don’t have control of most of the decisions being made. I know many people who have been downsized out of tech companies because the leadership team made bad decisions.
Belief #2: Responsibility: I should get a corporate job – it is what a responsible adult does. Once again, this is a belief that is drummed into you early. It goes something like this – study hard in school, get good grades, get into a good college, maybe get a graduate degree, get a prestigious job and the money and success will flow to you. This is the path that responsible people choose.
I choose this path. Did well in school, B.A. from University of Virginia, MBA from Carnegie Mellon University. Money and success did flow to me. But I was overworked, uninspired and getting burned out and depressed. Is being at work all the time, getting burned out, and depressed what a responsible adult does? I don’t think so! Yes, I have a responsibility to provide for my family – but if there is a way that I can do this without sacrificing my sacred family time and peace of mind – don’t I have a responsibility to follow that path?
Belief #3: Importance: If I get a high-paying job and an impressive title, I will be important. Interview 100 successful people and find if money and title really made them feel important inside. You might find 1 or 2 who will say yes, but this is a false belief. We are important because we are here.
We all have the same amount of source energy inside of us. Call it “God”, or “energy” or “goodness” – whatever resonates with you. I believe that as physical beings, we are on the leading edge of consciousness and our job is to create. We create by being in touch with our source and choosing actions in alignment with our joy. The only thing that you will take with you when you cross over into the spiritual world is your expansion of consciousness. You will not take any physical possession or title or award. You will only take your soul and the wisdom it has acquired during this physical manifestation.
Belief #5: Security: I will be secure if I have a good-paying job. If you know anyone that has been fired, laid-off, or downsized you know that this is not true. Yet, so many of us want to play it safe. We let our fears guide our decisions rather than taking risks and following our bliss. When you have a job, you are at the mercy of your employer. You may be laid-off with your entire department or fired because a superior doesn’t like you. It will be random and out of your control. True security comes from being your own boss.
Belief #4: Enjoyment: I will enjoy working in the corporate world. I chose a job in strategy consulting because I was bored with all of my other jobs – both in the public and private sectors. I thought – now this is something that will challenge me. To get a job in consulting I needed to get an MBA – so I did. But I did not enjoy strategy consulting. It was intellectually challenging but I didn’t enjoy the corporate environment. It seemed too artificial – not real. I couldn’t be my true self – I could only reveal the smart, logical and masculine part. I wasn’t having fun putting on my corporate game face and playing the game. It is possible to enjoy a corporate job if the work and environment are in alignment with your true calling. Unfortunately, it is rare.
Take a moment to reflect upon the above beliefs. How did you choose a corporate job? Were you following a belief or several beliefs? Or were you following your heart and intuition? Do you still have this belief or have your beliefs changed but your circumstances not changed?
Before you take action, work on replacing your old beliefs with new, positive ones that serve you better. Meditation, journaling, and positive affirmations are good ways to control your belief system.
By: Debra Thorsen
Posts Tagged ‘Well Meaning’
Why Do You Have a Job? Five False Beliefs that Lead People into Jobs they Hate
December 24th, 2009Job Search Stalled? 5 Ways To Keep Your References From Killing Your Career
October 11th, 2009You’re changing jobs. You know you’ll need references for your next career move. You’ve done a great job so you shouldn’t worry about getting a reference – right?
Wrong.
References can sabotage even the most sophisticated, well-executed job search. Sometimes you can lose an opportunity when your reference thinks he’s helping you out 100%.
Here are 5 ways to make your references work for you, not against you.
(1)Skip the ‘To Whom It May Concern’ letters.
Clients often tell me their well-meaning bosses offered to write a ‘To Whom It May Concern’ letter on your behalf. These letters used to be common 20 or 30 years ago.
Today, corporate employers rarely pay attention to these letters. In fact, often hiring managers will be skeptical about any written correspondence.
Let’s face it: employers tend to be conscious of lawsuits. They prefer phone calls that are not recorded. When they need a letter, they supply their own forms and they prefer letters sent directly to them.
You will find exceptions in some industries. For example, university professors and administrators typically submit three letters of reference with each application. Often these references will be mailed directly to the hiring department.
(2) Research the way your present boss answers a request: “Can you supply a reference for John?”
Ask fellow employees about their experiences. You might even get a friend to call on your behalf or hire a reference checking service. Expect surprises.
Some well-meaning managers avoid giving anyone a glowing recommendation. ‘Nobody is that great,’ they say. ‘I want to be honest.’
But of course everybody else exaggerates and your reference’s well-intended honesty will place you at a disadvantage.
Other references are just clueless. My colleague ‘Nick’ genuinely wanted me to get a great opportunity when he wrote a letter for me. But he added a line suggesting I might be ‘somewhat eccentric.’ I was applying for administrative positions in universities, which tend to be fairly conservative.
I had no idea what was going on and wondered why I wasn’t getting more invitations to interview. One day an interview committee member asked me, ‘What on earth does he mean?’
‘We are friends,’ I said, truthfully, and reached for the phone.
Nick was completely baffled (‘I meant it as a compliment’) but he agreed to revise his letters so I would sound like the well qualified, experienced, and highly professional candidate I was.
(2) Before supplying names, get permission (and be sure they are still available).
You come to the moment of truth in your job search. Your future boss says, ‘I am impressed with what I’ve seen. May I call a few references?’
To prepare for this moment, get permission to give out names. And take the extra step: Find out what happens next.
Your boss may be required to refer all calls to Human Resources. Or she may be moving to a new career and you are part of the past she wants to forget.
When I taught at a university, students often asked if they could list me as a reference for jobs and graduate programs. But sometimes I would get a surprise request from someone I barely remembered, creating awkward moments for all of us.
After I left the university, I was not always available to serve as a reference. While traveling or moving, I couldn’t respond to requests, even when I wanted to. If I’d known my name would be brought up as a reference, I would have warned the students and encouraged them to find alternatives.
(3) Watch for red flags in the hiring process.
If your job prospects get derailed mysteriously, over and over again, consider hiring a professional service to check your references. The service will handle your request professionally and (if you’ve chosen wisely) ethically. They’ll call to say, “I’m checking references on Tim Toole.”
A quality service will not pretend to be an employer. They don’t have to. You’d be amazed how managers will respond to a simple request for a reference.
One reference-checking consultant told me, “The manager who answered the phone said, ‘Just a minute.’ Then, without covering the mouthpiece, he yelled, ‘What did the lawyers tell us to say about Tim?’”
And that’s how one job seeker solved the mystery of Who Killed Tim’s Career Change.
(4) Remember: the world looks different on the other side of the desk.
By the time you’ve gained some seniority in your field, you’re probably familiar with standard hiring processes. But when you need to change careers, you may be surprised to discover some recent changes, as well as some unspoken rules.
Your industry may be dominated by a club of insiders. You may never be asked for references: your future boss just calls someone he knows until he reaches a friend of a friend.
Or your field may be very structured, with all references checked minutely by a human resources department, even if you’re quite senior.
It’s important to understand common practice because any deviation should be viewed as a red flag. You may not turn a job down but you need to dig deeper before accepting a position in a company that comes across as “different.”
(5) Be proactive.
Let’s face it: writing reference letters adds hassle to somebody’s day, especially when your reference is not familiar with your target market. If appropriate, offer to follow up or draft a list of key points to emphasize in the letter.
Take charge of your references and manage the process. Nobody else will care more than you do.
By: Cathy Goodwin
